How do we become a SuperStar Networker? By networking and connecting people together, by overcoming our fear of talking to people, and gaining more confidence. The Genuine Networker is the greatest and most active giver you know. He/She is constantly referring business to others (not just his Xango business). SuperStar Networkers give, not as a martyr, nor for the quid pro quo, but because their buckets are full. The story below is an analogy on why this is so.
The Mystery Of The Dipper And The Bucket
You have heard of the cup that overflowed. This is the story of a bucket that is like the cup, only larger; it is an invisible bucket. Everyone has one. It is always with us. It determines how we feel about ourselves, about others, and how we get along with people. Have you ever experienced a series of very favorable things which made you want to be good to people for a week? When this happens, your bucket is full to overflowing.
A bucket can be filled by a lot of things that happen. When a person speaks to you, recognizing you as a human being, your bucket is filled a little -- even more if he calls you by name, especially if it is the name you like to be called. If he compliments you on your dress or on a job well done, the level in your bucket goes up still higher. You make a mistake; a friend says, "I have had this happen to me. Let me give you a hand." There must be a million ways to raise the level in people's buckets; writing a friendly letter, remembering something that is special to them, knowing the names of th! eir chil dren, expressing sympathy for their loss, giving them a hand when their work is heavy, taking time for conversation, or, perhaps more important, listening to them.
When one's bucket is full of this emotional support, one can express warmth and friendliness to people. But, remember, this is a theory about a bucket and a dipper. Other people have dippers, and they can get their dippers in your bucket. This, too, can be done a million ways.
Let's say I am at dinner and inadvertently upset a glass of thick, sticky chocolate milk that spills over the tablecloth, on a lady's skirt, down onto the carpet. I am embarrassed. "Bright eyes" across the table says, "You upset that glass of chocolate milk." I made a mistake; I know I did; and then he told me about it! He got his dipper in my bucket! Think of the times people make mistakes, feel terrible about it, only to have someone tell them about the mistakes as though they did not know it happened.
Buckets are filled, and buckets are emptied -- emptied many times because people do not really think about what they are doing. When people's buckets are emptied, they are very different than when they are full. You say to a person whose bucket is empty, "That is a pretty tie you have!" He may reply in an irritated, defensive way, "What's the matter with my tie now?"
Although there is a limit to such an analogy, there are people who seem to have holes in their buckets. When people have holes in their buckets, they eritate others by trying to get their dippers in the other person's bucket. THis is when they really need somebody to pour it in their bucket because they keep losing.
The story of our lives is the interplay of the bucket and the dipper. Everyone has both. The unyielding secret of the bucket and the dipper is that when you fill anothers bucket, it does not take anything out of your own bucket. The level in our own bucket gets higher when we fill another's; and, on the other hand, when we dip into anothers bucket, we do not f! ill our own . . . we lose a little.
Sometimes we can protect ourselves and theirs by saying, "Hey, you have your dipper in my bucket!" Or, "We are getting our dippers in his bucket." Instead we can say, "Let's fill his bucket"' and, in doing this, experience the mystery of the dipper and the bucket.
Filling buckets is very similar to being involved in a helping relationship or profession because it requires a commitment, a great deal of time, human relations capital, and a strong, selfless desire to help people grow.
"PRICELESS PEOPLE, A Guide For Human Resources Development"
Compiled by Dr. Galen W. Dodge (one of my favorite teachers in college in one of my favorite classes)
Nebraska Human Resources Research Foundation
For this week, we're out to fill others buckets. By doing so, we will begin to fill our own. Try filling your bucket by contacting three people each day to discuss your business. Many people are looking for what you have to offer them. Don't let fear stand in your way of filling your bucket. Come from a 'GIVERS' point of view. Be the SuperStar Networker you are looking for, and you'll find yours.
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